LIFE HACK: disguise your nervous breakdown as a series of jokes
sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to uni
oh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do both
also we don’t have enough jobs for you
I’m actually concerned for boys who complain about how different girls look without makeup. Like did you think eyeshadow permanently alters a girls eyelid? Are you frightened when people change clothes
Babies have no concept of object permanence
That’s one of the sickest burns I’ve ever read.
there is a car called the wiener mobile right outside my car righ thits second
please look at htis i’m going to get a picture with it righ tnow
thsi is the best day of my life
this is the best day of my life
Just a reminder that Moffat deleted his twitter because he said that bisexuals were “too busy” to be given representation and that asexuals were too boring to write for dramatic purposes as well as other things he was rightfully called out for. He could have apologized and continued right on, but he did not. Instead he whined that people were attacking him and then deleted his twitter and continued on with his problematic behavior.
Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience I watch myself go from a 3 to a 9 right in front of my mirror I love it
no, if you are putting on makeup, I don’t care who you are or what you look like, you go from about a 10 to 1
keep talking shit you gonna go from a basic ass 2 to a 6-feet-under
*stirs coffee with a lit cigarette and then drops it in* have you ever heard of the smiths
prepare for high school then prepare for college then prepare for your career then prepare for retirement then you’re dead
then prepare for skeleton war
I feel so bad for Benedict Cumberbatch. Just because someone’s famous doesn’t mean the paparazzi can stalk and harass them, especially when they’re on holiday. Lot’s of people skinny dip when they go on holiday, and it’s shameful the the paparazzi had the nerve to actually release the photos.